


Get Me Out Of My Mind

by prcttyodd



Category: A Star is Born (2018)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Full Summary inside, backstories are kinda different, read notes page for more info, reverse AU kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 13:29:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16913730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prcttyodd/pseuds/prcttyodd
Summary: "Life is a mysterious and beautiful thing, and so are people and their bonds with each other."[AU]





	1. notes

SUMMARY: 

Alcoholism and drug addiction have claimed most everything in Jackson Maine's life, and his career is coming next. 

He's about given up hope of anything at this point, even his manager is losing faith in him, when a chance encounter with Ally Campana, rising superstar with problems of her own, brings her into his life somehow. 

Not only is this new found friendship with Ally something that could benefit his career, it's also something that can benefit life, for both of them. 

[AU]

 

XX 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

Somebody punch me in the FACE and tell me to stop shitting out fics, the amount I'm currently writing is unhealthy as fuck. Don't ask me how I came up with this because I don't know, it just,,,, came to me. 

This is going to be a reverse sort of AU. "A Star is Reborn" if you will. There's not really much I can explain without giving the entire story away, but Ally is already a star on her path towards fame, and Jackson is sort of where he was in the movie. A few changes have been made, like Jackson having a manager, Ally's backstory and how she came to be famous, and other things that will be explained. This is an AU, after all. 

There will be mentions of alcoholism, drug use, death (not Jack don't worry), suicide, sexual content(will prcttyodd be posting her first ever sex scene in a story? Or will she wuss out yet again?) etc. basically all of the warnings that you would apply to the movie apply here as well. 

Just as I always do, chapters that could be extremely triggering will be marked with a (!), and as always, feel free to ask for a summary if something might be overwhelming to read. 

As I do with all of my stories, a playlist will be made for this story, which can be found on my SoundCloud (prcttyoddwattpad). Feel free to check it out and let me know what you think! It'll likely be in progress until the story itself is finished! 

How long will this be? Well, as I'm typing this note I have no clue, but it's a full length fic, so anywhere from 10-20 or so chapters I guess. Could be more, could be less. 

(((Here she goes again writing a fic without planning))) 

That's all, hope you enjoy this story!


	2. 0.

Life is a mysterious thing. 

You can think that things are going a certain, be almost absolutely positive that they are, but then, all of a sudden, a curveball will be a thrown at you. 

Curveballs come in the form of an event. A person, even. Sometimes, all it takes is a few simple words for your world to be turning. 

There’s no telling what life will bring you, there’s no way to possibly prepare. You can’t predict the future, nobody can, so how could you ever know? And if we did, where would be the fun in that? Right, there wouldn’t be any. Nothing would be exciting, nothing would be upsetting, we wouldn’t be able to feel any emotion at all, really. We would always know what was coming, and be prepared for what it was.

There are certain people who don’t believe in fate and good luck anymore. Take Jackson Maine, for example. He’s done believing life has anything good to offer him, done believing that his world will ever go down a good path again. 

He had his fun before, he thinks that it’s just something that’s over now. Something that he’ll never be able to experience again. 

He’s given up, to put it simply. Given up on himself, on the passions that he held before, on life in general. 

Now, take Ally Campana. Sweet and talented girl, can’t believe what life has given her. She always can’t believe how lucky she got, everyday brings her more and more happiness. 

She loves life, to say the least. Even if Deep down inside her, there’s a part of her that believes she doesn’t deserve it. Doesn’t everyone hear that nagging voice at some point? Doesn’t everyone believe at first that they don’t believe to be recognized for the great things that they do? It’s just human nature. 

But for Ally, her insecurities go so much deeper than that sometimes, and they send her into a spiral of awful thoughts about herself. Sure, she’s getting recognition. But there are people more deserving, people who are actually talented. 

Ah, we all have our vices. And at least she hasn’t given up on everything because of these thoughts. She’s still working her hardest, she’s filled with passion actually. 

These two people seem very different, do they not? One has given up, while one is filled with life. One has gotten the bad end of things, one is thriving off of good. 

Now, this may be the setup for a cliche, two unlikely people colliding to form a likely and beautiful bond that transecends all else. 

Well, that may be sort of the case. 

People are funny things. Some had each other and will do anything to tear each other down, some love each other at first sight, some connect on a level that they never thought they’d find in another person. 

Each person brought into your life brings something along with them. Whether it be trouble, love, sex, friendship, just a quick conversation, even a deep hatred that burns inside you each time you see them. The possibilities could be endless, if you think about it. Each time a person is brought into your life, you don’t think about this though, because that’s not how social interaction is. You don’t ask someone how long they will be in your life upon first meeting, especially if this first meeting is brief. 

This is for a couple of reasons. One, it would be beyond awkward. But why? It seems like something people would like to know, wouldn’t it? But the thing is, people have no idea. That brief meeting could very well be the last time you speak to somebody, you never know. You could think about this person daily, but unless you speak to them again, they could be doing anything in this world. 

For Ally and Jackson, their meeting was about as brief as it got. They were both busy people, with hectic lives in their own ways, so their encounter was nothing out of the ordinary. 

But of course, it didn’t end there. It spiraled into something they both could’ve never anticipated, something that they never would’ve expected. 

Meeting another person can’t force you out of a bad place. People don’t have the power to cure awful things like depression, addiction, and things that plague the mind. But, people can help give you that little push that you need, they can help you open your eyes and realize that maybe life is worth living, make you see things as you should, and make you see that maybe you can overcome what’s going on. Ultimately, you of course need to want help yourself, but that extra push can help a lot. There’s no shame in that. Even if curing something like that takes awhile, it’s still good to get a head start. 

Life is a mysterious and beautiful thing, and so are people and their bonds with each other.


	3. 1.

When Jackson Maine wakes up, he has no idea where he is at first. 

As soon as conciousness overtakes his body, he smells vomit. His own vomit, he knows that for a fact. And as soon as he opened his eyes, he realized his was right. 

His face was resting in a pool of his own vomit. He was in the bathroom, so maybe he tried to make it to the toilet, but that was obviously a major failure. Or maybe not. Who knows how the hell he got in here, he didn’t know, and didn’t care. He was here in this posturing yet again, that was what mattered. 

His body was covered in sweat, his head ached. He didn’t want to move just yet, he just had to give himself a few seconds. 

This would’ve been an uncommon or disgusting occurrence for most anyone else, but to him, it was merely routine. 

He had tried so many times to break the cycle, but it just never worked. There was no use. He was nothing more than a lost cause. It was only a matter of time before he never woke up, before people rushed in and found him in resting in his vomit, dead. 

It was a morbid thought, but it was one that he couldn’t help but have. He was just getting to that point, that point where death seemed to be looming right around the corner. 

He finally picked his head up, sitting up. He grabbed onto the sink for stability, his other hand flying up to grab his face. 

He was in pain. A lot of it. He wished he knew why he continued to do this to himself, why his own mind hated him so damn much, but he supposed that he would never know. This had been going on for too long, and he still couldn’t figure it out. All he knew was that he had a gnawing voice in his mind, one that convinced him that the only thing that could help him were inebriation substances of any consequence. 

That was just how it was these days. Maybe he’d perform a show, like he had done tonight, sometimes get high or drink just before so that he didn’t freak out while on stage. That wasn’t too great for him either, because often, the ringing his ears got unbearably loud, more loud than they ever were before, due to the substances that he was putting inside himself. 

It was deadly, all of it. There was no good side to any of it. Sure, it felt good at the moment, but he had been doing this for the longest time now. It was just something to avoid himself from going into withdrawal. It was like somebody taking medicine. It wasn’t fun by any means, but it was something that his body (or his mind, rather) wouldn’t just allow him NOT to do. Only difference was, his “medicine” slowly killing him and taking everything away, one by one. He was losing people. He could barely hear himself playing anymore. He had no inspiration to do anything, no inspiration to fucking live. His life was built around the drugs and alcohol that he was addicted to, and he wasn’t sure he could call his daily routine a LIFE anyways. It was nothing short of misery, nothing short of just waiting for his day to come. 

He finally stood, stumbling a bit as he did, once again gripping the sink as a means of support. 

He thought to himself how ironic it would be if he slipped on his own vomit and broke his neck. Invasive thoughts weren’t uncommon for him, and he just allowed them, what else was he supposed to think in this position? Wouldn’t anybody think like this? Where was there anything positive in any of this? 

He stumbled into the kitchen, his vision a bit impaired, but it was nothing new to him by any means. He grabbed supplies to clean up, and wiped down the bathroom floor, making it seem as though nothing had happened at all. 

He wanted nothing more than to get into bed and sleep this night away, like he did most any other night, it was the only solution to this shit that seemed to work. 

He checked his phone briefly, just to check the time, and instead felt himself looking at all of the notifications from his manager, Mike. A ton of missed calls, and even a few messages from the man, telling Jackson to call him back ASAP. 

He sighed, knowing that ignoring Mike would lead to yet another argument. And he didn’t want to deal with that right now. So, he called him back. 

“Jackson? Why the hell weren’t you answering me?” Mike asked when he picked, obviously pissed. 

Jackson racked his mind for an excuse. “I was sleeping. After the show, I just got really tired. I didn’t mean to fall out, I just put the TV on and it sort of happened.” 

“Sleeping. Yeah. Sure. But anyways, the reason I’m calling you is that I have good news. News that could… change things for you.” 

Jackson’s career wasn’t in the best state right now. The addiction was starting to take away his passion, the love that he had once had for creating music. Him losing interest meant that his fans lost interest, nobody could hold onto hope for that long, especially in the music industry. Things were fast paced, full of action. Nobody wanted to hear an addict slur on stage, with the chance of collapsing any moment, for the amount that they had to pay to get good seats. 

He was big at one point. He still was, he was well known and had built a name and legacy for himself, but those times were dwindling. Mark has warned him of it several times, and said that there was only so much time left. Ah, well. Everyone loses their spark at some point, right? At least that was how Jackson looked at it, to make himself feel a BIT better about things. His manager tried to push him towards doing something about this addiction that was draining him of everything that he was, but Jackson convinced him that it was nothing that serious. It wasn’t deadly. Mark may not have believed it, but that was how he knew that he couldn’t help him, no matter how hard he tried. 

“What is it?” Jackson asked. Good news? He hadn’t heard those two words in the longest time, they were almost foreign to him. 

“You have a performance at the Grammys this year. Those are right around the corner, you know. I saw the list today, you’re there.” 

“You’re not serious.” Him? A Grammy performance? Jesus Christ. Of all of the oddities in the world, he wasn’t expecting this at all. 

“I am serious. You still do have a fan base, whether you choose to believe it or not. They still believe in you. They don’t see what goes on behind the scenes, they think that this is just something small. But you need to go out there and not make a fool of yourself. This is your chance to shine again, let them all see you on the Grammy stage.” 

“But I’m not even nominated, how in the-“ 

“Your work didn’t qualify for this year. That’s all. They still want you to perform, you are a big fucking deal, you realize that right?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I got it. Grammy performance. Aren’t they in awhile, though? Don’t I… have time to prepare and all of that?” 

“Jackson… are you sure that you’re alright?” Mark was concerned, now more than ever. “You sound like you’re slurring your words a bit, are you drunk right now?” 

“No. Don’t worry about it. Listen, I’ll perform. Got it. Thanks for letting me know.” 

“You didn’t really have a choice. They ASKED you to perform. You can’t just deny an opportunity like this, unless you had a really good reason. And you don’t. I don’t care what you try and tell me, you’re going. And you’re going to look and sound just like the Jackson Maine that they all know.” 

“Mhm.” Was all Jackson could manage. He didn’t want to hear any of this. 

“Do I need to send somebody down there? Because I will, I fucking will, Jackson.” 

“No, I can manage. It’ll be fine. I can do it. Trust me. I just had a show tonight. You saw how well it went. This will be the same.” 

“Yeah, if you even live to see the day.” 

Jackson scoffed, and hung up the phone. He couldn’t really argue with that one. 

XX

“Guess what?” 

“What?” 

“Guess who has a… GRAMMY PERFORMANCE?” 

“Oh bitch, do you actually? Oh my god!” 

Ally Campana chuckled. “I actually do. I can’t believe it either. It’s the first ever Grammys that I’ll be at as an artist, and I’m nominated and getting a performance!” 

Ramon, her best friend whom she had invited over to celebrate this good news, pulled her in for a hug. Ally was garnering so much respect, she deserved and earned it all. 

She couldn’t believe it all herself, either. Her manager, Rez, told her the news, and she damn near froze in place. Then she cried out and hugged him, tears falling down her face. She didn’t know what she had done to get so lucky, but she was happier than ever. 

She would have never envisioned herself in the place where she was now. She had started out like most artist’s did, performing wherever people would take her, soon garnering the interest of several people, including the person that was her manager now. She couldn’t believe it. She knew all people didn’t get their big break, and she was so fortunate to have gotten to where she was now. 

The industry was scary to her at some points, though. She had always been more on the shy side, not wanting to let people know that she had the talent that was her beautiful voice, and it was very hard for her to perform at some points because the big crowds intimidated her, but things were starting to get a bit easier. Just a bit. There would always be that insecurity buried deep inside her, at times causing her to question everything. 

She caught herself constantly comparing herself to everyone else around her. But, as she was told, that wouldn’t help her any. People wouldn’t admit it, but they didn’t like those that constantly asked for pity and approval, she she tried to keep it all to herself. So far, it was going well. 

She didn’t forget where she had come from, though. It had all started with her best friend sitting in front of her, and she would never be able to forget that, or let the fame get her to the point of arrogance where she would act like she didn’t know him. She just couldn’t. 

“You remember when we used to watch it together, over the phone, and you used to always talk about how you wished that you were there, and always talk about what you would wear. Well, look where you are baby! You made it!” 

She felt herself smile. “I did. Oh my god. I did. I’m going to be there. They want me to sing. And what if I win? I mean, there’s a chance that I won’t, but what if I do…” She was talking what felt like a million words per minute, which caused Ramon to chuckle. 

“Slow down. Wouldn’t want you to have a heart attack or some shit.” 

“I might. Oh my god I just might. Like I’m going to be on TV for thousands to see, not to mention all of the people that are going to be watching. All of the people who have been here for so much longer than me.” 

“Not all of them. Some of them have been there less or just as much. And what does it matter? They’re no better than you.” 

“That’s the thing. They are. And they’re going to be watching me, staring at me…” She didn’t have too many friends within the industry, in fact she didn’t have any at all, because she never knew how to approach them. People have reached out to her, asking to work with her, but Rez always said that it wouldn’t have been a good fit anyways when she felt a bit uneasy about the idea. She didn’t know why she always let her insecurity about herself win, but she did. It was one of her weak points, she supposed. 

“Don’t think like that. You’re there just the same as they are. And I know you’re going to kill it. Just don’t think about it if that’ll help! Imagine them as someone else.” 

“It’s scary, but at the same time, I’m excited. I’m so happy, I’m so grateful.” 

“You deserve it! I can’t believe I have a Grammy nominated friend, that shits crazy!” 

“Oh, come on. I’m still Ally, you know.” 

“Of course I know. What you don’t realize is that you’ve always been talented. How do you think you rose up as fast as you did? People love you.” 

“I just… I can’t believe it sometimes.” 

“Well, you better start believing it, because you’re going to be performing at the Grammy awards, bitch!!!” He shook and opened up the bottle of champagne that they had brought out for this special occasion, it spraying all over himself and Ally. 

She screamed out. “You jackass! Oh my god.” She said, chuckling. “I hate you so fucking much.” 

“Love you too!” 

She gave him the finger as she went to go get glasses for them, and then to go change her shirt. 

XX 

A/N: ughh I hate writing first chapters so much, but honestly this actually got done pretty quickly and all I can say to that is OH DEAR because that means I’m already attached to this story. Big yikes @ me. I just,,, can’t seem to stop coming up with my ideas in this always running brain of mine. 

Anyways, thanks for reading, love u all always, stay amazing.


End file.
